My family, friends and even him ever makes me disappointed but being stupid me,
I bottle up my feelings.
I don't know why I would bottle it up because volcano can erupt at any time right?
Well now my feeling is like a volcano wanting to erupt but couldn't.
I've ever seen him talking to a girl closer than how I used to talk to him.
(which I think is quite far)
Of course, jealousy is in me.
My friend saw my expression and ask me what am I going to do?
I'll do nothing.
Then she hits me.
She knows about me and my bottle up feelings.
She told me that it isn't good for me to bottle up my feelings.
Well, what can I do?
I don't want to hurt his feelings by not letting him socialize with people.
I'm only a girlfriend.
Not his mom nor wife.
So I have no right to change his life.
He's not mad about me socialize with boys.
(except for Luke because he is a fucking pervert)
Well that's because I always told them I need to be far from them because I don't like
people being close to me.
Its uncomfortable.
The only time we're close was
when he gives me his first gift and when I ask him to hold my watch for me
when I play 'bola jaring'.
I think its Net Ball in English.
The others are when we only past each other, giving each other hi's goodbye's and smiles.
No more no less.
I wonder,
What will happen if I couldn't bottle up my feelings?
Would I cry?
Punch a person?
If my cousin who used to be close to me knows my condition,
he'll help me to over come it.
Like he always does but ever since both o us enter SMK life, we drift apart.
my cousin at Kuching.
I wonder,
Why I'm still willing to bottle up my feelings even when they hurt me so much.
Its like they think my understanding limits is unlimited.
Well, you're wrong in that one.
If I'm alone and I burst,
I'll cry.
And if the person is in front of me,
I'll tell you all the crap I think about you that is in my mind till
you cry me a river
And by that time, I show no mercy.
Beware.
I'm done. Bye Bye readers ^_^
Yours Truly,
b2utyful-locket
